The passing of our elders
05/07/16 04:36
Decades ago a friend was trying to explain the differences between the culture of his reservation and the dominant culture in which I had been raised and live. He was explaining how a person could legitimately have more than two grandmothers or grandfathers - how all of the elders of the community were grandmothers and grandfathers to him. He spoke of the reverence and respect of elders that was inherent in his culture and in his way of living. I was young. The popular media was filled with news of the generation gap. I was feeling particularly that there were plenty of elders in the church who didn’t understand the youth who were coming up. I bristled at what seemed to me to be a lack of sharing responsibility. “Age alone doesn’t make one right,” I argued. “You don’t understand,” he responded.
So many years have passed. I am older. I’m not the oldest of the people in the church, but my white hair and beard are not the product of any type of premature aging. A few years ago I noticed that when I attended functions on the reservation, I was shown deferential treatment. When they bring the plates to the elders, a plate is set in front of me. When the elders were recognized at an event my name is sometimes on the list.
Still, I can point to many who are older, wiser and more experienced than I.
It reminds me of an experience I had back in the ’70’s. My teacher was in his seventies and taught a class entitled: “Spirit in the Aging Years.” I naturally assumed that he considered himself to be an expert in the field in part because he had entered into his aging years. One day, at the beginning of class he told us a story. He had been visiting his mother and noticed that she kept the thermostat very low. He was cold and asked her to turn up the heat. She replied that she had seen the President of the United States on television urging people to conserve energy by turning down their thermostats. He replied that he was sure that the president has specifically exempted elders from the request. She looked him right in the eyes, pointed her finger at him, stamped her foot and declared, “If you think I’m any less patriotic because of my age, you’ve got another think coming, young man.” The class laughed. I realized, all of a sudden, that for our teacher, when he spoke of aging, was describing the culture and attitudes of his mother who was then in her nineties, not himself. She lived to 100. He died at 89.
News reached us yesterday of the death of yet another elder. Winifred Boub was the administrator of the Dakota Association of the United Church of Christ and an elder in the church and in the Council for American Indian Ministries. Her tireless devotion and dedication to the church has been a hallmark of our church for a very long time. Freddie had been experiencing a wide variety of health problems and had often used a scooter of wheelchair to get around for many years. Her husband and partner in ministry died a little more than a year ago and it seemed as if her health declined more rapidly after he died.
I would not want to have her suffer more than she did. I would not want to hold her back from the adventures that lie beyond this life.
Still it is hard to imagine our Dakota Association churches and meetings without her. She was always present at every gathering and event. I knew I could look forward to a visit with her each time I traveled to attend a DA event or activity.
Within the last year, our Dakota Association has lost some incredibly strong elders. Rev. Norman Blue Coat was our partner at Eagle Butte and a mainstay of the Association. Norman officiated at more funerals than anyone I’ve ever met. He had the committal service down just right. He would hold his book of worship in front of him, but he didn’t need to read the words. They were in his heart. He understood just how to reach out to the grieving family and communicate words of hope and blessing and support and community. Rev. Hampton Andrews was always the comic relief of any gathering. His stories had us rolling on the floor with laughter. His unconventional ways, however, were filled with compassion and deep love for the people he served.
The deaths of these elders do not come as a surprise. We knew they were getting older. We knew that their health was fragile. But each of them kept working and kept serving the church despite their limitations. I used to laugh that I had the joy of attending two different retirement parties for Winifred. Her retirement, however, didn’t seem to change anything about her work hours or her dedication to the Dakota Association. I once told her that she was teaching me how to retire because it was obvious to me that retirement looks exactly like working. I could tell that by watching her.
And now she had died. I know that I don’t have words for my friends and colleagues at the funeral. What will I be able to say? It is the passing of an era. the loss of these particular elders has left a hole in our church that cannot be filled. We will go on. Our churches will survive. We will continue to serve our people, Just how that will happen, however, is not clear.
I am confident that God will provide the leaders that the church needs to move into the next phase of its life. We have been taught that God will provide everything that is needed for the church in each generation. It is clear that it will take more than my understanding and imagination to come up with the next generation of leaders.
So I will go to be with my colleagues and friends and attend yet another funeral and open my heart to listen to God’s call. There is much that remains to be revealed.
So many years have passed. I am older. I’m not the oldest of the people in the church, but my white hair and beard are not the product of any type of premature aging. A few years ago I noticed that when I attended functions on the reservation, I was shown deferential treatment. When they bring the plates to the elders, a plate is set in front of me. When the elders were recognized at an event my name is sometimes on the list.
Still, I can point to many who are older, wiser and more experienced than I.
It reminds me of an experience I had back in the ’70’s. My teacher was in his seventies and taught a class entitled: “Spirit in the Aging Years.” I naturally assumed that he considered himself to be an expert in the field in part because he had entered into his aging years. One day, at the beginning of class he told us a story. He had been visiting his mother and noticed that she kept the thermostat very low. He was cold and asked her to turn up the heat. She replied that she had seen the President of the United States on television urging people to conserve energy by turning down their thermostats. He replied that he was sure that the president has specifically exempted elders from the request. She looked him right in the eyes, pointed her finger at him, stamped her foot and declared, “If you think I’m any less patriotic because of my age, you’ve got another think coming, young man.” The class laughed. I realized, all of a sudden, that for our teacher, when he spoke of aging, was describing the culture and attitudes of his mother who was then in her nineties, not himself. She lived to 100. He died at 89.
News reached us yesterday of the death of yet another elder. Winifred Boub was the administrator of the Dakota Association of the United Church of Christ and an elder in the church and in the Council for American Indian Ministries. Her tireless devotion and dedication to the church has been a hallmark of our church for a very long time. Freddie had been experiencing a wide variety of health problems and had often used a scooter of wheelchair to get around for many years. Her husband and partner in ministry died a little more than a year ago and it seemed as if her health declined more rapidly after he died.
I would not want to have her suffer more than she did. I would not want to hold her back from the adventures that lie beyond this life.
Still it is hard to imagine our Dakota Association churches and meetings without her. She was always present at every gathering and event. I knew I could look forward to a visit with her each time I traveled to attend a DA event or activity.
Within the last year, our Dakota Association has lost some incredibly strong elders. Rev. Norman Blue Coat was our partner at Eagle Butte and a mainstay of the Association. Norman officiated at more funerals than anyone I’ve ever met. He had the committal service down just right. He would hold his book of worship in front of him, but he didn’t need to read the words. They were in his heart. He understood just how to reach out to the grieving family and communicate words of hope and blessing and support and community. Rev. Hampton Andrews was always the comic relief of any gathering. His stories had us rolling on the floor with laughter. His unconventional ways, however, were filled with compassion and deep love for the people he served.
The deaths of these elders do not come as a surprise. We knew they were getting older. We knew that their health was fragile. But each of them kept working and kept serving the church despite their limitations. I used to laugh that I had the joy of attending two different retirement parties for Winifred. Her retirement, however, didn’t seem to change anything about her work hours or her dedication to the Dakota Association. I once told her that she was teaching me how to retire because it was obvious to me that retirement looks exactly like working. I could tell that by watching her.
And now she had died. I know that I don’t have words for my friends and colleagues at the funeral. What will I be able to say? It is the passing of an era. the loss of these particular elders has left a hole in our church that cannot be filled. We will go on. Our churches will survive. We will continue to serve our people, Just how that will happen, however, is not clear.
I am confident that God will provide the leaders that the church needs to move into the next phase of its life. We have been taught that God will provide everything that is needed for the church in each generation. It is clear that it will take more than my understanding and imagination to come up with the next generation of leaders.
So I will go to be with my colleagues and friends and attend yet another funeral and open my heart to listen to God’s call. There is much that remains to be revealed.